I want to talk to you about the self-defeating lives women live. It usually involves self-sabotage with negative talk, food, fitness and living a clean and healthy life. We say to ourselves with judgment, “I’ll start the diet on Monday”, “I wont eat sugar tomorrow after eating this candy bar”, “I wont eat the donuts and bagel at the office tomorrow”, “her butt is bigger than mine”, and “I wish I add her arms, mine are saggy.” It’s non-stop badgering of our mind and bodies. We forget our bodies are a gift to us to fulfill our purpose in the world.
Many women obsess over the foods they are eating or not eating. They can’t plan fun things in their lives because they are worries about the size of their thighs and butt. Women are concerned about what other people think than actually living their true authentic lives.
I’ve been there many times in my life. As a professional dancer I was ultra-disciplined with my diet and exercise (dance class and gym work outs) just so everyone in the outside world would approve of what they saw. I lived my life for others acceptance… not from my hearts desire. That’s an ugly place to think, feel and live in.
I’m super blessed now to have moved out of that time in my life and I want to help you do the same…. love and accept YOU!
I’m not perfect. I still catch myself comparing myself to others but I’m able to catch my thoughts and actions, notice what is happening and then gracefully move out of comparison and judgment to a place of self-acceptance and self-love.
Tera Warner, a mentor of mine, said this and it makes so much sense, “Until you see your value and purpose, acts of self- sabotage can happen so easily.”
I want to give you an exercise to help you start a better relationship with your body. Self-massage. In Ayurveda it’s called abhyanga. This beautiful and easy technique has many benefits and allows you to show love to your body. Abhyanga is anointing the body with oil…how delicious!
You must schedule the time to add this ritual into your life, but the benefits are well worth the time. Some say 15 to 20 minutes is a great length for the massage but I’m much more practical and keep it at 5 minutes, longer if I have time.
Here’s how to practice abhyanga: As you follow the below direction I want you to say beautiful things to your self, positive affirmations about your body and life. I want you to feel what you are saying. Feel the emotion of what your saying to yourself (hint: it should feel AWESOME!) You should feel amazing and light after stating affirmations.
- Warm the your oil. I use coconut oil in the summer because it has a cooling affect and I use sesame oil in the winter because it has a warming affect. Make sure the oil is not too hot and sit or stand comfortably in the bathroom or warm room.
- Apply oil first to the crown of your head and work slowly out from there in circular strokes—spend a couple of minutes massaging your entire scalp. This is heaven. A Suggested affirmation: “ I AM CALM AND PEACEFUL or I AM COMPLETELY RELAXED AND MY MIND AND BODY ARE PEACEFUL AND CALM. ALL IS WONDERFUL IN MY LIFE.
- Move to your face. Massage in circular motion on your forehead, temples, cheeks, and jaws (always moving in a upward movement). Be sure to massage your ears, especially your ear-lobes. Spend extra time on the jaw if you have a tight jawline like me. Suggested affirmation: I AM TOTALLY SAFE AND SURROUNDED BY LOVE AND LIGHT.
- Use long strokes moving upward towards the heart on the limbs (arms and legs) and circular strokes on the joints (elbows and knees). Suggested affirmation: I DESERVE AND ACCEPT VIBRANT HEALTH AND VITALITY IN MY LIFE NOW or I AM GOOD ENOUGH JUST AS I AM.
- Massage the abdomen and chest in broad, clockwise, circular motions. On the abdomen, follow the path of the large intestine; moving up on the right side of the abdomen, then across, then down on the left side. Suggested affirmation: I HAVE ABUNDANT ENERGY AND HEALTHY AND STRONG IMMUNE SYSTEM.
- Finish the massage by spending at least a couple of minutes massaging your feet. Your feet take a lot of abuse (hello high heels) and need some extra love and attention. I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE AND MY BODY (feel it as you say it).
- If possible, sit with the oil for 5-15 so that the oil can absorb into the deeper layers of the body.
- Enjoy a warm bath or shower. You can use a mild soap on the “strategic and womanly parts” areas, avoid vigorously soaping and rubbing the body.
- Gently towel dry your body.
- Enjoy the feeling of having nourished your body, mind, and spirit and carry that with you throughout your day.
Once you give yourself permission to love you just as you are and give your body some more love, the relationship with you and your body will change. How you present yourself to the world will be different and you‘ll serve your purpose and mission in life without the weight of your negative perceptions about your body holding you back. Life is more free and sweeter.
Do you have a self-care practice that lights you up? I would love to hear about it. Leave me a message below and share.